In Memory of Alina

Dear ones, as some of you already know, on the 1st of October, 2009, our dear daughter, Alina Lucia, was born and went straight to Jesus’ arms. The main reason that I’ve put together this memorial page is because it’s very important to me that Alina’s life be remembered as something special and beautiful, and not just as cause for pain and sadness. I know that she came to bring us joy and to make our lives special in some way—even though her stay was shorter than expected. Another reason I’m writing this is because everyone has only heard about the sad part of the story, and I want to share the other side, which shows how all this wasn’t a huge disaster or mistake, but that it was part of a greater plan, which we might not understand at the moment…

What happened

I had an easy and healthy pregnancy, free even of most “regular” pregnancy issues. I completed 41 weeks without any sign of labor, so I went to the hospital to try to have a natural delivery (induced). I really wanted a natural delivery, since my first son (who is now 2 years and 9 months old) was born by c-section, due to being in breech position. During the induced labor, after having reached 5 centimeters of dilation, I felt something strange in my womb—a sharp and prolonged contraction that made me think I was reaching the end of the process. Later I learned that what happened was that my uterus couldn’t handle the pressure and had ruptured.
After the rupture I started losing a lot of blood, but I wasn’t aware of what was happening. I was feeling disoriented and I didn’t notice that anything was wrong—I thought the pain and other feelings were part of the normal labor process. It was all very sudden and fast. I had to undergo an emergency c-section and get a blood transfusion, because my blood pressure was so low. They had to pull Alina as quickly as possible and they took her away and did all they could to revive her, but their attempts were unsuccessful. Thanks to the Lord, and to the fast action of my medical team (including my good friend “Morango”), I survived, but unfortunately Alina didn’t make it and passed away. The moment they took her from me I started crying because I just knew in my heart that she hadn’t survived. The Lord wanted to be the first one to tell me.

Comfort in an inconsolable moment

I wasn’t surprised when they gave me the news that Alina hadn’t made it, but of course it was still difficult to hear the confirmation. At that moment, in the midst of the confusion, I felt something that is difficult to explain. I’ve always known the verse in the Bible in which Jesus promises to give us “peace which passes understanding.” I always thought this was a wonderful passage in theory, but in that moment I actually felt a SUPERNATURAL PEACE. Of course I was shocked, sad and crying, but I wasn’t inconsolable. Right then I clearly felt that along with this pain and sadness I also received a measure of strength and peace so that I could face it.

“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)

A bridge over troubled waters

This song describes exactly what I felt Jesus doing for me. He allowed me to come to the most troubled waters I could have ever imagined, but He laid down and made a bridge, so that I could pass over these waters.

Thankful for life!

The more I hear and think about details of my “complication,” and about how serious it was from a medical viewpoint, the more I’m amazed at how the Lord protected me from something worse. There are so many more things that could have gone wrong, but nothing happened beyond what God allowed.
Now I’m at home and am recovering quickly. I’m surrounded by my wonderful and dear family, and by my greatest loves: Steve and Alex, my husband and son.

Memories of Alina

During my whole pregnancy I hardly took any photos because I didn’t have time and my camera was broken. One day after my due date (at 40 weeks) my husband and I met a photographer by chance, who offered to take photos of me, and with Steven and Alex, our son. I was happily accepted this unexpected offer, and the next day we had a photo shoot. At the moment it seemed like something nice to do, but I never imagined how important these photos would be to me. Today, unfortunately, I don’t have any photos of my little girl, but at least I have some beautiful ones of the time that she was with us and of our whole family! This is one more sign of Jesus’ love for me. He’s so sweet, isn’t He? (Thank you, James, for having been an instrument in giving us this special gift.)

The significance of the butterfly

I was still a little sad, because I didn’t feel a connection with my little one. I wanted to put together this memorial for her, but it made me sad not knowing how to represent her, since I didn’t have a photo or image of her. So I said a prayer and asked Jesus to show me which would be the best way to represent her. At that moment a beautiful white butterfly flew by in front of me. My question had been answered! My brothers, who were helping me with the technical side of setting up this page, chose one of the photos of me pregnant with Alina, which we decided was ideal to use as the header. When I looked more closely at the photo I noticed a small detail—in the photo I’m wearing a necklace with a butterfly pendant (which I’d never worn before, and had just put on for this photo). The message was clear to me: she was, and still is, closer to me than I can imagine! And later on, as if to confirm this message, as I was telling Steven about this, guess what flew by us again—the beautiful white butterfly.

Thank you for all your care

I’d like to thank all of you, on behalf of myself and Steven, for he abundance of support and care that we’ve received. From my stay in the hospital, and the care I received there, to my return home, I was flooded with love! A huge thanks to each of you who gave so much love and support during this difficult time. The manifestations of love—great and small—are innumerable. Please accept our heartfelt thanks.

PS: Help me to repay the love!

I’d like to ask all those who can to please donate blood and repeat this gesture of love. It helped to save my life, and it can save the life and happiness of many others, and their families.